Do you remember in elementary school when the teacher would put aside 10 minutes in the morning for all the students to do a quickwrite... basically 10 minutes of writing whatever you feel like on a sheet of paper? I feel like doing that today. So here it is, 12:34PM >start<
I am listening to the Marie Antoinette soundtrack right now at work, trying to get in the mood to actually get some work done. This soundtrack reminds me of running. I first heard the soundtrack a couple of years ago, when Yona sent me the mp3's from Japan. I remember listening to this soundtrack during my Brentwood runs, after my gym session with Russ. I don't remember any of the thoughts that went through my mind during the runs (there are usually a lot) but I do remember the feeling. Somehow this soundtrack always makes me feel like I'm on the outside looking in, observing how trivial and menial my problems really are. Makes me feel small.
I like feeling small. This is probably why I love to go to the beach, especially at night. When you see something so vast like the ocean, or even being one out of many on a crowded beach, it just makes you feel so small. In comparison to those around me, how important am I really? How many people does my existence effect? Do my problems, worries and quandaries carry any weight when compared to everyone else's? I like fading into the background, thinking that my existence is meaningless and unnoticed. I don't know why that is, I just do.
So everyone is talking about Halloween today. I thought for a minute that it might be fun to dress up but then realized I would probably have to wake up at 6 am to properly dress up. You see, our Halloween theme this year is "Mad Rapp," taken from the TV show "Mad Men." I never know when to put the period inside the quotes or outside. Anyways, for a girl to dress up in the 60's era it takes a LOT of effort. Not necessarily just the clothing -- since I'm sure I'll be able to find something that will fit the era. But the hair! There is just no way Asian hair will curl and tease up into a hairdo worthy of the 60's. Although this does remind me of a photo I came across of my grandmother when she was young and she did have the bob going. So needless to say, I will not be dressing up. Maybe I'll bring Lulu dressed up in a 60's-esque dress. Again, it all depends on how early I wake up tomorrow.
Which brings me to my next topic- sleep. I knocked out on the couch yesterday around 8pm. I woke up at around 10pm -- just enough time to take Lulu out one last time and then crashed again until 7:45AM. That's almost 12 hours of sleep! I finally felt well-rested. I've been so lethargic lately at work. It's starting to worry me -- I'm used to the usual bout of exhaustion but this feels largely like something else. If I go back in history to the times I've had any problems with sleep (falling asleep, waking up, still feeling tired), they were all at points in my life where I was confused, depressed or generally unhappy. I really hope this is not the case now.
Oh what I'd give to be at home right now. Now that I'm living alone I feel so guilty leaving Lulu every morning. I guess she expects it. She somehow knows the difference between my getting ready to go to work or when I leave the house to run a quick errand. When it is the latter, she makes a huge stink about my not bringing her, usually in the form of excessive barking. I wonder what her cue is? Is it the time of day I leave? The amount of time it takes for me to get ready? My choice in footwear? All I know is that when I leave to take a jog, do laundry or take out the trash, she barks like crazy, as if she knows that technically, I could bring her along. But when I get ready and leave for work, she sits there silently.
Okay! That marks 10 minutes.
I am listening to the Marie Antoinette soundtrack right now at work, trying to get in the mood to actually get some work done. This soundtrack reminds me of running. I first heard the soundtrack a couple of years ago, when Yona sent me the mp3's from Japan. I remember listening to this soundtrack during my Brentwood runs, after my gym session with Russ. I don't remember any of the thoughts that went through my mind during the runs (there are usually a lot) but I do remember the feeling. Somehow this soundtrack always makes me feel like I'm on the outside looking in, observing how trivial and menial my problems really are. Makes me feel small.
I like feeling small. This is probably why I love to go to the beach, especially at night. When you see something so vast like the ocean, or even being one out of many on a crowded beach, it just makes you feel so small. In comparison to those around me, how important am I really? How many people does my existence effect? Do my problems, worries and quandaries carry any weight when compared to everyone else's? I like fading into the background, thinking that my existence is meaningless and unnoticed. I don't know why that is, I just do.
So everyone is talking about Halloween today. I thought for a minute that it might be fun to dress up but then realized I would probably have to wake up at 6 am to properly dress up. You see, our Halloween theme this year is "Mad Rapp," taken from the TV show "Mad Men." I never know when to put the period inside the quotes or outside. Anyways, for a girl to dress up in the 60's era it takes a LOT of effort. Not necessarily just the clothing -- since I'm sure I'll be able to find something that will fit the era. But the hair! There is just no way Asian hair will curl and tease up into a hairdo worthy of the 60's. Although this does remind me of a photo I came across of my grandmother when she was young and she did have the bob going. So needless to say, I will not be dressing up. Maybe I'll bring Lulu dressed up in a 60's-esque dress. Again, it all depends on how early I wake up tomorrow.
Which brings me to my next topic- sleep. I knocked out on the couch yesterday around 8pm. I woke up at around 10pm -- just enough time to take Lulu out one last time and then crashed again until 7:45AM. That's almost 12 hours of sleep! I finally felt well-rested. I've been so lethargic lately at work. It's starting to worry me -- I'm used to the usual bout of exhaustion but this feels largely like something else. If I go back in history to the times I've had any problems with sleep (falling asleep, waking up, still feeling tired), they were all at points in my life where I was confused, depressed or generally unhappy. I really hope this is not the case now.
Oh what I'd give to be at home right now. Now that I'm living alone I feel so guilty leaving Lulu every morning. I guess she expects it. She somehow knows the difference between my getting ready to go to work or when I leave the house to run a quick errand. When it is the latter, she makes a huge stink about my not bringing her, usually in the form of excessive barking. I wonder what her cue is? Is it the time of day I leave? The amount of time it takes for me to get ready? My choice in footwear? All I know is that when I leave to take a jog, do laundry or take out the trash, she barks like crazy, as if she knows that technically, I could bring her along. But when I get ready and leave for work, she sits there silently.
Okay! That marks 10 minutes.
